Chemical Imbalance
by Hopeakaarme
Summary: Inui's latest juice goes horribly wrong, as the regulars discover much to their horror. Seigaku's boys' tennis club suddenly has female regulars... Shounen ai TezuFuji, Golden Pair onesided shounen ai MomoKai, InuKai.


Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: Pure crack, not to be taken seriously. I'm actually aware that no drink can simply change someone's gender just like that. The ending is somewhat rushed, for which I apologize.

* * *

Chemical Imbalance

* * *

"Well, that was a thorough practice, it really was," Momo said, sighing as he wiped sweat from his forehead. "I can't recall the last time I've been this exhausted!" 

"Wuss," Kaidoh snorted, glaring at his apparently half-dead team mate. "I could do it again right away."

"You would," Momo snorted. "But then again, you're a monster, so that explains it, eh, Mamushi?"

The bandana-clad boy gave him a glare. "What'd you call me, huh?" he asked. "Do you want to fight?"

For a moment Momo looked like he was about to agree, but then he sighed. "Nah," he said. "Too tired. Let's have a go at it another time."

"A wise decision, indeed," Inui commented with a smirk. "In your current condition, Kaidoh's chances of winning any fight that might ensue are 84 or higher. You are far from his level of stamina."

"As I said, he's a monster." Momo grinned, then glanced at Inui. "But then, so are you, Inui-senpai."

"Me?" Inui seemed surprised. "Oh, no. Kaidoh's natural stamina exceeds mine by at least 67. I am by no means comparable with him."

"Didn't you just compare yourself with him, though?" Fuji asked with a smile. Even the genius seemed rather tired. "I have to agree with Momo, though. You look awfully energetic for somebody who's just gone through the same amount of exercise we have, Inui."

"Ah, but I have every reason to believe you don't have to be tired, either," Inui said, grinning in satisfaction. "My latest Energy-Supplement Drink is very much a success. I have enough for everybody, if you would like to try it."

Even despite their exhaustion, the scattered team members somehow found the energy to edge away from him at the mention of his infamous drinks. Glancing around, Inui seemed confused.

"What? Doesn't anybody want it? It doesn't even taste bad, I promise. It's not a punishment!"

"I don't trust Inui anymore," Eiji whined. "Even if he says it's a reward, it always tastes horrible. Only Fujiko has worse taste than Inui, nyaa!"

"Kaidoh?" Inui tried hopefully, offering a glass of sinisterly sparkly blue liquid to the younger boy. "Would you show to the others that it is nothing to fear?"

Kaidoh took a step or two away from him. "I'd rather not, Inui-senpai," he replied hurriedly.

"Oh, come on, Kaidoh. I do admit it looks unusual --" a vast understatement if the regulars had ever heard one, "-- and that in general you haven't had good experiences with my juices --" well, that was even worse, "-- but I promise this one doesn't taste bad at all."

For a moment Kaidoh stared warily at the liquid. Then he looked up at Inui. "...Promise?" he asked slowly.

Inui nodded. "I do promise."

"Wait a minute, Mamushi," Momo said hurriedly. "Do you mean you actually trust him? That can't be true, it just can't!"

Kaidoh gave him a glare as he accepted the offered glass. "Inui-senpai wouldn't lie about such a thing," he said sharply. "It would be falsifying the data."

"Indeed." Inui smiled -- rather creepily, most of them agreed -- and nodded. "Kaidoh trusts me because I haven't given him any reason not to -- in anything that matters, anyway."

Before anyone could ask or even properly wonder what things mattered and what didn't, Kaidoh drank the blue liquid. The whole glass disappeared in a couple of gulps under the curious -- and, for the most part, rather horrified -- gazes of the others. After this they waited patiently for a moment or two, expecting to see some of the usual reactions -- fainting, vomiting, or running from the scene were the most probable ones. However, Kaidoh displayed none of these, instead appearing rather normal.

"It tastes strange," he said. Then, still targeted by the questioning gazes of his teammates, he hissed a bit and clarified, "Strange, but not bad."

"Well, he doesn't look like it did anything bad," Taka-san said hesitantly. "I still don't know, though..." From beside him, Echizen offered him a racquet. A second later, a burning Taka-san was demanding a drink with very loud, very abused English.

After Taka-san, too, seemed not only relatively unharmed but actually better after drinking Inui's juice, the others were encouraged enough to try it, too. They all noted that it did, indeed, give back some energy. Eiji actually did a couple of cartwheels as soon as he had emptied his glass, announcing that he felt better than ever and the sky was even bluer than before and everything was nice and well and Oishi thought so too, didn't he. In anybody else this might have been a somewhat worrying symptom, but as it was Eiji in question, the regulars simply interpreted this as him having recharged his batteries.

"It seems you still have some energy left," Tezuka commented, glancing at his very much recharged team. "Perhaps it would be for the best to continue practice for a while after all."

Immediately everybody found themselves hoping they had stayed exhausted. Before any possible protests could be voiced, though, Tezuka's attention was diverted by a sudden source of distraction. Namely, Kaidoh collapsing.

"Kaidoh?" Inui asked worriedly, immediately at the fallen boy's side. "Kaidoh, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Kaidoh grumbled, curling up in a ball. "I am... just fine..." He seemed to be clutching his stomach, though.

"Nya, I knew this!" Eiji exclaimed. "There was some poison in the drink and now Inui's going to get rid of us all at once! Goodbye, Oishi, I'll miss you!" He clung to his doubles partner who in vain tried to make him calm down.

"Now, don't be ridiculous," Inui said, sounding rather shaken. "I wouldn't have taken a glass myself if it was poisoned, now would I?"

Although this was a somewhat good point, the fact that Taka-san also clutched his stomach now, groaning in pain, convinced everybody that Inui and his latest juice were indeed to blame. However, before they could do anything about the issue, they, too, were reminded of the drink they had consumed in the form of stomach ache.

Everybody around him collapsing and withering in pain, Tezuka's face actually took on an expression of bewilderment for a second before returning back to his usual seriousness.

* * *

Little by little, Kaidoh became aware of his surroundings. 

The last thing he could remember was lying on the ground, his stomach aching and Inui-senpai asking him whether he was all right. He was still on the ground, so that, at least, hadn't changed. But what about Inui-senpai?

He carefully pushed himself up into a sitting position, feeling still rather confused. A quick glance around revealed the whole team lying on the ground around him -- well, the whole team sans the captain, who was currently looking at him with eyes that were a fragment wider than usual.

"...Captain?" Kaidoh asked warily. "What happened?"

Tezuka kept looking at him for another moment. Finally, he said, "It seems Inui has surprised even himself with the potency of his juices."

Kaidoh blinked, confused at this. Well, the stomach ache had indeed been horrible, but nothing different from what some of Inui's former juices had caused. He still felt a bit strange, though. It was as though -- as though something was missing.

He then glanced down at himself and realized that whether something was missing or not, at the very least there was something extra.

It was, his mind decided, about the time to experience the joys of unconsciousness again.

* * *

"This had better be a very bad joke," Echizen muttered coolly, his cap covering as much of his face as possible. "Or, rather, a nightmare." 

"I can't believe this, nya!" Eiji exclaimed. "Can Inui's juices really do this? Even our voices have changed!"

"It does seem so," Oishi sighed. "I just hope this doesn't last long."

"Well, Inui's juices don't usually have very long-lasting effects, do they?" Taka-san asked hopefully. "So hopefully this will go away, too."

"I hope so," Momo said mournfully, glaring at the front of his shirt. "I really hope so."

"This is indeed rather strange," Fuji mused, eyeing his now apparently female team mates with a smile. "Rather interesting, too, though. Don't you think so, Tezuka?" He smiled at the captain. "I do wonder what I'd look like in a skirt..."

Tezuka refrained from commenting. Closing his eyes, he apparently tried to avoid even looking at Fuji, who had seated himself beside the captain.

"Inui's really a genius, nya," Eiji said, taking a peek into his pants and grimacing. "I wish he wasn't so much of it, though!"

Eiji had never been known for giving much of a warning before acting. Thus was the case now, too. Apparently not satisfied with the visual confirmation that the sudden growth of breasts was not the only change in their physique, he bounced to Oishi's side and repeated his inspection. "Nya, Oishi's lost his too!" Eiji then exclaimed, his actions causing a burst of nigh hysterical laughter in Momo and a fierce blush on Oishi's face.

"It seems Kaidoh hasn't woken up yet," Fuji commented mildly. "Should we perhaps be worried?"

"He woke up once already," Tezuka informed them coolly. "Apparently the shock caused him to faint again, though."

"I see the one responsible for this still hasn't said anything, though," Fuji continued with his observations. "Inui? Could we perhaps get an expert's opinion on the matter?"

"Nyaa, I think Inui's broken," Eiji said, going to the data player's side and looking at him from different angles. "His expression's all weird and he isn't saying anything."

"Oh, no!" Oishi gasped. "If Inui's too shocked to function, nobody can return us to our usual state!"

"Mamushi should wake up, he really should," Momo said. "I bet he could shake Inui-senpai awake again!"

As if on cue, Kaidoh just then sat up, groaning a bit. Daring a quick glance around, he then closed his eyes again and muttered a curse. "So it's not a nightmare after all," he grumbled.

"Apparently not, I'm afraid," Fuji said happily. "Would you mind trying to bring Inui back to us? He seems to be, as Eiji put it, broken."

Kaidoh didn't need to be told twice. With a frown, he got up, then walked to Inui. After a second of watching Inui closely, he slapped him hard across the face.

"...I guess I deserved that," Inui said, holding his abused cheek. Apparently he was now back to function. "Thank you, Kaidoh."

"Don't thank me," Kaidoh hissed. "Just find a way to undo this, and at once!"

"At once?" Inui blinked. They couldn't see it behind his glasses, of course, but they knew he blinked, nevertheless. "I fear that will take me at least... four, five days, I believe. The recipe is quite complicated, and for these effects to take place –"

He really should have seen it coming. Nevertheless, Inui didn't manage to avoid the second slap.

* * *

Hiding the transformation from their parents, it turned out, was either useless or unneeded. Inui's were simply not home, while Echizen hadn't really changed enough for it to be noticed – something he was infinitely grateful about, knowing how much his father would have teased him otherwise. Kaidoh and Eiji were horrified to find that their families were much less upset than they were, while the others simply got reactions along the lines of, "Ah, well, it's just a phase," or, "That Inui-kun really is something, isn't it?" 

Never before had the Seigaku regulars been as scared of their parents.

* * *

"Oishi!" 

Recognizing Eiji's voice, Oishi turned around to look at his friend. As he did so, his eyes widened. It was Eiji, yes, still female – not much of a surprise, considering Oishi himself was still, well, herself – and, to top it off, in a Seigaku school uniform. This was absolutely normal as a rule, but instead of the boy's uniform, like the one Oishi was wearing as usual, Eiji had on a girl's uniform, complete with a skirt. Like this hadn't been enough, he even had his hair up on two little pig tails, decorated with sparkly barrettes.

"Eiji?" he asked confusedly. "Just what has happened to you?"

"My sisters ganged up on me!" Eiji wailed. "They forced me to wear Keiko-nee's old school uniform and did my hair and everything! Now I look like a girl, nyaa!"

"Well, for the time being, you are a girl," Oishi said, knowing that he wasn't really comforting but at least trying his best. "And so am I. However," he then said, smiling, "I think you look rather pretty like that, Eiji."

For a moment, Eiji just stared at him. Then, however, the other boy/girl's expression brightened. "Nya, Oishi's always so nice!" he exclaimed, bouncing forward to hug his friend. However, this rather usual reaction -- to them, anyway -- was disturbed rather badly with the realization that there was something extra between them.

"Nyah, that's gross!" Eiji exclaimed, hastily backing away from Oishi. "Are girls really supposed to be that... squishy?"

"I think so," Oishi sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "Not that I have much experience or anything..."

"Mou, this is not fun," Eiji whined. "Not only are we stuck as girls, but I can't even hug Oishi as usual, nyaa!"

"I guess it can't be helped." Oishi smiled embarrassedly. "Let's just bear with it and hope that it wears off... Or Inui finds an antidote, of course."

"Oi! What if it doesn't wear off at all?" Eiji looked absolutely miserable. "I don't want to be a girl forever! And I don't want Oishi to be a girl forever, either!"

"I'm sure we'll manage." Oishi smiled. "None of Inui's juices has done any permanent damage before this, right?"

"Well... I guess you are right." Now, Eiji grinned, back to his usual cheerful self. "Well! If we're going to go back to being boys at some point, let's just enjoy this while it lasts!" His grin grew even wider. "I can't wait to see Momo's face when he sees me!"

Oishi chuckled, listening to Eiji's happy chatter as they continued on their way to school. Eiji indeed had the most amazing recovery ability.

At the gates of the school they found Momoshiro and Echizen. The two were both wearing boys' uniforms, though obviously female. The passing students gave them strange glances, though not as strange ones as those that Eiji got.

"Eiji-senpai?" Momoshiro gasped as he saw the redhead. "Wow, you're actually dressed right!"

"So I am, nyaa!" Eiji smiled. "I wonder if I'll get any fanboys after this, nyaa! I bet my fanclub's already at least twice as big as Momo's anyway!"

"Actually," a calm voice told them, "it's about 1.7 times as big, though some of this figure is due to the Golden Pair fanclub, which is also included. You still do not come even close to the captain's fan club, of course."

"Inui!" Eiji exclaimed, jumping back from the suddenly appeared data player. "That was just a joke, nyaa! I didn't think we really even had fan clubs! ...Do we?"

"If you mean official ones, yes," Inui replied. "Every regular has one, along with some doubles combinations. I have taken to monitoring them among other things. An average female student of the school belongs to 1.3 tennis fan clubs."

Momoshiro was about to ask something – doubtlessly the size of his own fan club in relation to that of Kaidoh's – when his attention was drawn to something else. "Hey, hey, will you look at that," Momoshiro said, pointing at somebody who was approaching the school. "Mamushi actually looks pretty as a girl!"

"Hmm." Inui gave Momoshiro a sharp glance. "There is a 32 chance Momoshiro actually thinks so, a 33 chance that he is merely teasing Kaidoh, and a 35 chance that he has found Kaidoh attractive before and only now finds it appropriate to declare this. I think I need more data on this case."

"What?" Momo exclaimed. "That's not true! I don't like Mamushi one bit. Normally he's ugly like Hell! But, well, just look at him now -- he's got a pretty nice figure, eh?"

They all now looked at Kaidoh, who was approaching them unusually slowly, a fierce blush on his face. He, too, was wearing a girl's uniform, which helped little to hide the fact that his body was unusually well formed for a 14-year-old girl. He looked quite uncomfortable about his predicament, even more so than his team mates.

"Nya, Kaoru-chan looks nice!" Eiji shouted happily, bouncing towards Kaidoh. "Where'd you get that uniform, nyaa? You don't have sisters, do you?"

"My mother is responsible for this, senpai," Kaidoh hissed uneasily, still blushing. "She called a cousin of mine who used to attend Seigaku just recently. I had to wear this because --" he swallowed, then finished, "because none of my usual uniforms would fit me."

"I can see why," a new voice said, smiling cheerfully. "Saa, you have such a nice figure. Really, any girl would be envious."

"Fujiko!" Eiji exclaimed. "Is everybody trying to scare me today, nyaa? But you look pretty, Fujiko! Is that your nee-san's old uniform?"

"Why, yes," Fuji said, smiling a bit. "It's rather old, but at least it fits me. What do you think?" He made a disturbingly graceful twirl in his little skirt. "She said I look good in it."

"Nyaa, so you do," Eiji said. "And we all look prettier than those cowards, nyaa!" With this, he hooked arms with an amused Fuji and an absolutely terrified Kaidoh. "Girly girls for the win!" he announced loudly, dragging them through the front gates to the school yard.

"...Where are we supposed to change clothes for practice?" asked Momo after a moment. "We're not girls, so we can't use the girl's locker rooms, but can we really use our own locker rooms instead? This is confusing, this is really confusing!"

"I suggest we just use the tennis club locker room as usual," Fuji said with a smile. "After all, these are not real girls' bodies, are they?"

"Well, I don't know," Echizen commented dryly. "Real or not, I really don't want Momo-senpai ogling at my breasts."

"Hey!" Momo exclaimed, apparently insulted. "What do you think of me?"

"That you're a pervy bastard," Kaidoh mentioned dryly. "Not that I wonder, what with how idiotic you are. Fsshuuu."

"What did you say, Mamushi?" Momo growled. "Do you want to fight?"

Kaidoh might have replied. However, before he could say anything, he was shocked to silence by the two hands suddenly placed on his hips. Unfortunately to the person responsible, though, he recovered rather fast, spinning around and punching them. It wasn't until he had delivered the punch that he realized just whom he had hit.

"Inui-senpai?" he asked sharply, a blush on his face. "What the Hell do you think you are doing?"

"I'm merely taking measurements," Inui replied, rubbing the spot Kaidoh had hit. "Finding an antidote to this will be much easier if I know the results of the drink as accurately as possible. It seems that Kaidoh's hips have widened at least 47 more than Momoshiro's."

"Hey, hey, hey," said Momoshiro as soon as he got over his laughter at the punched Inui and blushing Kaidoh. "When'd exactly you get my measurements?"

Inui gave him an indifferent glance. "I trust my ability of estimation enough to get the measurements by merely looking at you. And before you can ask, I chose a different method for Kaidoh because I know him best and thus can get more accurate data from him than from the others -- aside from myself, of course."

"Well, use methods that don't involve your hands, fsshuuu," Kaidoh hissed angrily. "This is embarrassing enough as it is!"

"Inui-senpai," Echizen said dryly, "what exactly are we going to tell everybody? Won't the teachers and other students wonder about us?"

"Ah, that's already been taken care of." Inui's glasses glinted ominously. "Everybody will be told that we are trying to raise awareness of the girls' tennis club and their success. How many of you knew that they made it to their own National Tournament this year?"

Everybody shook their heads, looking surprised. Inui nodded. "Indeed. As not even we know, it's not likely that anybody else knows, either. Seigaku's tennis is strong regardless of gender, but the girls' tennis is simply not acknowledged. Therefore, we are going to pose as girls – as far as anybody else knows, that is. There is a 78 chance the ploy will be successful."

"And what about those 22, Inui-senpai?" Kaidoh asked uneasily.

Inui adjusted his glasses. "Well, the 22 chance is that everybody is going to think we are all either transvestites or transsexuals," he replied calmly. "It's ii data, really. Our opponents are going to underestimate us because of it."

"I don't want to be underestimated," grumbled the skirt-clad second-year. "So you'd better find the antidote soon or else."

"Anyway, we should probably get to the morning practice already," Fuji said cheerfully. "Otherwise Tezuka will surely be cross with us, even if we are girls!"

They finally ended up in the locker room. Everybody was apparently doing their best not to look at the others, as was understandable. Kaidoh even went as far as to do his best not to do at himself.

Although he didn't look around – he simply wasn't interested – Echizen still couldn't help but notice that Eiji dug from his bag something that was not his usual tennis uniform.

"...Kikumaru-senpai?" Echizen asked suspiciously. "Why exactly do you apparently own a girl's tennis uniform?"

"It's a long story," Eiji replied cheerfully, winking at the younger boy. "To put it simply, Fujiko's the one responsible for it, nyaa. He should have one, too."

"But of course." Fuji smiled, holding up his own uniform for inspection. "It's nice to finally have some more use for them, ne, Eiji?"

Ignoring Eiji's cheerful response as best as he could, Echizen decided he did not want to know the original use.

Their odd appearances and Eiji and Fuji's feminine clothing gained them quite a few stares from the non-regulars as they went to the courts. Only Tezuka seemed somewhat unaffected, although Inui did spy something of a change in his expression as Fuji showed off his new tennis uniform.

Still, they weren't quite prepared for Arai's fainting during his warm-up match against Momoshiro.

"Ah, I see," Inui said, glancing around. "The boys' t-shirts are looser than those of girls. While Kikumaru and Fuji have no problem, I do believe it'd be the best for the rest of us to tie our shirts." And, to demonstrate, he tied the hem of his own t-shirt on a knot under his breasts.

"What's that matter, what's that matter at all?" asked Momo, confused. "How'd that help anything?" He stared at Inui's now perfectly bare stomach. It was not quite as muscular as usually, and his waist was much more defined, too. Yup, female all right.

"Quite simple, Momoshiro." Inui gave him a serious glance. "Unless you do this, your shirt will flare as you jump to do a smash, which will give your opponent a good view underneath it. As happened with Arai."

Momoshiro was the first one besides Inui who got his t-shirt properly knotted up.

It didn't help much, of course. The rest of the tennis club seemed somewhat distracted by the feminine bodies that were, while no more revealed, very much emphatized by this new t-shirt design. While the regulars themselves did their best to ignore such distractions – and, indeed, most of them didn't seem to even notice them, whatever the reason – the rest of the club did so miserably Tezuka finally sent them all running laps, convinced they could get nothing else done anyway.

"Ah, Kaidoh," Inui said at one point. "I do believe it would be better if you wore a sports bra for the time being. Not only would it make your own movements more comfortable, but I fear that the current state of things also makes it 65 harder for Momoshiro to concentrate on actually playing."

Kaidoh hissed, blushing furiously at the same time. "What'd I say? Pervert," he shot at Momoshiro.

"That can't be true, that can't be true at all!" Momoshiro exclaimed. "I bet the one worst distracted is Inui-senpai himself!"

Inui adjusted his glasses. "No, I am quite sure I am not distracted by such things. However, as your sexual interest, Momoshiro, is almost entirely directed at the female of species, and Kaidoh seems to be one of the rare male exceptions, I'd be quite surprised if you didn't get distracted by a female Kaidoh."

"Ah, so Inui's come out of the closet?" Fuji smiled. "Saa, you should have told us earlier!"

Inui gave them a somewhat confused gaze. "You mean it's a surprise? According to my statistics, 82 of the National level tennis players of our age are attracted to their own gender in addition to or instead of the opposite one. For those playing solely doubles, the rate is even higher – out of established National level doubles pairs, 91 are or have been romantically involved."

"So there's a 91 chance Eiji-senpai and Oishi-senpai are a couple?" Momoshiro asked with a grin, more to make everybody forget the previous topic of discussion than anything else. "That's interesting, that's definitely interesting!"

"Ah, no." Inui's glasses glinted. "For those two, the actual chance is 99.7."

"Nyaaa! Don't you have anything better to do than stalk us, Inui?" Eiji asked annoyedly while Oishi blushed. "Just continue playing!"

Even as Inui indeed returned to the practice along with everyone else, he smiled to himself. "Kikumaru is getting defensive. Ii data."

* * *

The next couple of days made the differences between the regulars' reactions even more obvious. Inui seemed somewhat unaffected, and whatever Echizen thought about the situation, he didn't let it show. Fuji and Eiji seemed to be of the opinion that if they couldn't help it, they would just have to try to enjoy it instead of dwelling in their misfortune. Borrowing old clothes from their sisters, the two proceeded to messing with the heads of half of Seigaku and quite a few students of rival schools as well. 

(The other regulars were convinced they could never again face any of the Yamabuki players after Eiji tried to get Sengoku to ask him for a date and as a result of a very complicated chain of events ended up flashing his breasts to poor little Dan Taichi, who fainted at the shock. Eiji and Fuji only barely made it out of the Yamabuki grounds before Akutsu managed to demonstrate how gender had nothing to do with whether you could become victim to brutal violence.)

Taka-san and Oishi seemed somewhat uncomfortable, Momoshiro was getting increasingly desperate, and Kaidoh...

Kaidoh had it the worst, it seemed. For some reason his girl form had been blessed – or cursed – with a rather shapely body, one that indeed made girls envious and boys interested. All the time there were those who either had apparently forgotten his former reputation or were unaware of just who he was, asking him for a date. Despite Fuji's several comments about "non-feminine behaviour", the boys all got a punch or two for their trouble. He also had taken to avoiding Inui, something that seemed to disturb the data player more than the change of gender. The only thing he would say to Inui was the oft-repeated question of, "How long will it be?"

It was apparently going to be long. Each day the regulars became more and more uncomfortable, somewhat uncertain as to whether they would go back to normal at all. Even Tezuka started to become unsettled.

"This is bad, this is really bad," Momoshiro sighed one day. "We have match against Hyoutei next week, right? How are we supposed to play them like that?"

"Momoshiro is right," Tezuka said. "However much we keep practising, winning will be very difficult with your decreased strength."

"This is all Inui-senpai's fault," Echizen grumbled, glaring at the senpai in question. "He should be trying to find the antidote instead of collecting more data on us."

"That's right, that's right!" Momoshiro exclaimed. "It's his fault if we lose to Hyoutei!"

"Actually..." Inui looked somewhat embarrassed. "To be honest, I already found the antidote a few days ago. It turned out to be much simpler than I anticipated."

"What?" Kaidoh's eyes widened in surprise and not a little anger. "And why didn't you say anything earlier, fsshuuu?"

"Well, everybody seemed to be having such fun, and –" Inui never got to finish his sentence. The objects thrown at him varied from a water bottle to a chair, but they all did quite a good job at shutting him up.

* * *

This time, it was not difficult to find volunteers. The regulars were practically fighting to get the drink first. Of course, they still forced Inui to drink it first of all, not wanting to be surprised by any further side effects. As he turned male again without anything else happening that they could see, nothing was stopping the rest of them. 

The club house was soon full of very relieved people. Kaidoh kept staring at himself in a mirror as though not convinced it was true. Eiji, on the other hand, repeated his earlier examinations, much to the mortification of Oishi and amusement of the others.

"Yay!" Eiji shouted cheerfully a moment later. "My Oishi's back to normal again!" And, with this, he hugged the boy in question very tightly. "Nyaa, hugging the boy Oishi is so much more fun."

Inui – who was sporting a rather sizable band-aid on his forehead, a reminder for him not to keep secrets – smiled and wrote something in his notebook. "99.9 for those two. Ii data."

"Saa, it was really interesting, though," Fuji said. "But it's still much nicer to have everybody back to normal again. Ne, Tezuka?" He smiled. "Or do you perhaps miss the skirts?"

Tezuka looked at him seriously. "...I do not believe that deserves an answer."

* * *

Seigaku won against Hyoutei. They couldn't really feel proud about it, though, as one of the matches was won by default in rather embarrassing circumstances. Jirouh, who actually seemed awake at once, took one look at his opponent and started laughing so much he had to forfeit. It wasn't his fault, really. He, too, had been at Yamabuki, talking with Sengoku at the fateful day, and he apparently found it utterly hilarious to even see Fuji. 

The Girl Incident, like it had been dubbed, was dealed with by an unanimous decision never to speak of it again. The regulars themselves had little wish for discussing it – aside from Fuji and Eiji, who seemed to find the memories amusing. Even they, however, admitted that it was definitely much better to be male again.

However, they could not entirely forget the incident, as the rest of the school remembered it still very well. This was made painfully obvious as, about two weeks after taking the antidote, they noticed a poster stuck to the club house's wall. There were several photographs on the poster, one of which was framed with a golden colour, along with some text explaining just what it was about.

Kaidoh, who was the first one to see the poster, turned red and hissed a bit. "What kind of a sick joke is this?" he spat, pointing at the poster with a shaking hand.

"Oh, I don't know," Fuji said cheerfully, coming up behind him. "I think you quite deserve it, Kaidoh."

"Nyaa, that's right!" Eiji exclaimed. "There was no competition at all!"

Momoshiro snickered. "He's a clear winner, a clear winner indeed," he commented.

Kaidoh didn't say anything. He simply hissed, his face somewhat resembling a tomato.

"Er..." Oishi glanced around, a bit uneasy. "Not that I wonder he won, but exactly who nominated Kaidoh for the Prettiest Girl in Seigaku competition?"


End file.
